Sometimes I find my life becoming so enveloped in an activity or project that the activity seems to control and dictate not only my schedule, but also my "free time" and even my random thoughts. I can remember back to college, where a Sunday afternoon would be spent thinking about how early I left the library the Saturday before, or how much work I had to do before Monday. I can remember in high school, when my basketball or football game the upcoming night literally dominated my mindset. My parents knew it would probably be best to avoid eye contact, let alone conversation with me--just have my pre-game meal ready when I got home and leave me alone. I would get so twisted up inside my anxiety and anticipation of the game that I would make repeated trips to the bathroom thinking I was going to lose my pre-game meal.
While my running habits pale in comparison to the previously mentioned activities, I occasionally still get wrapped up in the training and the planning and the anticipation of the events. Having said that, running is still an enormously positive aspect of my life. I enjoy it thoroughly but know it is far from the most important part of my days.
Much more important than an upcoming marathon is my family. Last night Ellie's Grandmother passed away, so we won't be heading up to the Journeys Marathon. At least not this year. Am I disappointed? Not really. There are multiple marathons every weekend, and I have plenty of time left to run a whole bunch of them. Right now is time for family. Perhaps in a couple weeks I'll find one and run my 3:10. In the meantime, I guess I've got a couple more weeks to train. I'll only be more ready to BQ when I actually do toe the line. When is that? Not a big deal right now. It'll work itself out.