I Lofth-t My Withsdom Teeff

Latht Thurthsday I had my withdumm teeffth pulled. It really thsucked. Over the weekend I deffeloped a condithun called "Dry Thocket," altho known ath Alfeolarr Osthteitith, which ith Latin for "My Jaw Feelth Like itffth going to EFFING EXPLODE" and ith really painful. Needlefth to fthay, I haven'th been running mufthch at all. Parthenn is really anxthhous to go outfthide in the thnow and play. Poor guy.

So without running I've had more time to A) Pop Vicodin like they're TicTacs to get me through the nights, and B) Read more of a fascinating book: The Omnivore's Dilemma. Thus far (I'm through about half of the book), favorite part discussed just how much of our "American Diet" is corn-based. Through government subsidies and industrial innovation, the simple crop of "corn" has been broken down and re-structured into countless different substances, from carboyhydrates to proteins to fats. Take this example (Reading time is 4 minutes, and I promise it's worth it! It will give you another reason to avoid fast food, just in case you needed one):

One can break down food into three main groups: Fats/Oils, Proteins, and Carbs. When looking at the structural makeup of a Fat or Oil, you'll see a LOT of "C" notations, which stands for Carbon. Much like a train is made up of indivual cars, Proteins are made up of individual pieces called Amino Acids. The centerpiece of every amino acid is...you guessed it...a Carbon atom (in the image shown here, the top row shows two Amino Acids combined to form a "dipeptide", which are then combined over and over again to form a "protein.") And then there are "CARBO-hydrates, which are combinations of Carbon, Hydrogen, and Oxygen. Obviously the center of these compounds is Carbon.

So what?

Well, Carbon is an interesting element in the fact that it has a LOT of isotopes (variations in the structure of the element). All of the isotopes are considered "Carbon," but they all are a little different and can therefore be seperated and counted...kinda like you could take all automobiles with "Ford" on them and divide them up into trucks, SUV's, compact cars, and so on. Make sense?

The ability to identify different types of Carbon is useful because fancy shmancy scientists can use a fancy shmancy machine called a "Spectrometer" to count the various number of each isotope of carbon found in a substance. Carbon that comes from Corn is almost all the same isotope, so when it appears, the scientist can infer how much of the overall carbon total in the substance being investigated originated in a corn kernel. Makes sense? (When I tried to explain this to Ellie, she simply replied, "Oh, so it's magic." In a word, yes.)

So anyway, for those STILL reading, the author of the book took some pretty standard McDonald's food items and gave them to one of the aforementioned fancy shmancy scientists, who ran them through an aformentioned fancy shmancy spectrometer to see how MUCH of the carbon in the foods came originally from corn. Remember, as mentioned above, the backbone of proteins, fats, AND carbs is Carbon. And where did the majority of the "backbone" of McDonald's food come from? Take a looksy:

Diet Coke: 100%
Milk Shake: 78%
Salad Dressing: 65%
Chicken Nuggets: 56%
Cheeseburger: 52%
French Fries: 23%

I get very strong cravings for McDonald's occasionally. But after eating it, I still feel hungry, and it never seems to be "filling," but is always "regrettable." No wonder--I'm practically eating a couple cans of corn and little else. This explains why the food doesn't really taste like much yet always gets eaten very fast. As the author puts it, "you eat more and eat more quickly, hoping somehow to catch up to the original idea of a cheeseburger or French fry as it retreats over the horizon. And so it goes, bite after bite, until you feel not satisfied exactly, but simply, regrettably, full."

I highly recommend this book to everyone--it is really easy to read and is an amazing look into why we eat what we do, and, more importantly, where it really comes from.

Picture Me Rollin' (my ankle)

I might as well call this site "Running, Wonky Ankle and All."

Oh, never mind.

At start (the Southern trailhead), with my backpack (with Camelbak inside) and water bottle ready to go. This happens to be the only picture I was able to recover. I hate technology!

I had grand plans for this past Saturday. I wanted to run the entire length of the Ice Age Trail in the Northern Kettle Moraine forest. Click here to follow the yellow trail along a map. I wanted to take pictures along the way and enjoy a morning in the woods (not to be confused with something else, which I KNOW came to mind for some of you). Things didn't go exactly as planned after rolling my ankle big time at the 22 mile mark (It's a total of 31 miles to get from one end of the forest to another).

This trail is difficult in the best of conditions as it's covered in rocks and roots and hills. But when you cover all of that with all the fallen leaves and then sprinkle on about an inch of rain, and...well, what the h*!! was I thinking?

I took a lot of great pictures, too. Unfortunately, I can't download them. I really have no idea why, but you can add that insult (no pictures) to the injury (effed-up ankle--and yes, thats the actual diagnosis).

I've now tried to complete this run 3 times. Once I crashed and burned after only having a single water bottle and 2 gels with me. The second time I had Lyme Disease. And now this. I probably won't try it again this year, considering that Gun Deer Season starts this Saturday, but I promise that I WILL DO IT!

On the bright side, though, I did have a great weekend outside of the bad ending to the run. On Friday night Ellie's co-workers had a party, and I got to absolutely bring the house downembarrass myself at Guitar Hero:

Here's Ellie Jamming out with Phil, a co-worker. As you can tell by the look on my face, I'm mesmerized by her skillz:

Here I am pulling off a killer move. I don't think the game commonly known as "Guitar Hero" will ever be the same:

Next is me completely embarrassing myself. Items of interest in this video include (A) my attempt at doing a jump-kick to the rhythm of the song and actually performing some sort of spastic lower-half-of-my-body convulsion, which I really have no way of explaining or defending (feel free to tell me what you think it looks like in the comment section), and (B) Phil trying to perform a leg kick also and falling backwards onto the couch.

The voice you hear is Ellie (having safely arrived in Margaritaville) yelling, "Do a leg kick, Phil!" It is of my opinion she knew exactly what she was doing, despite the adult beverages, and wanted to document both my complete inability to dance (I've been banned from wedding reception halls in 3 states) and Phil's inability to balance on one leg, for even one tenth of a second, not to mention the fact we did NOT achieve "Rock Star Status" on that song because of Phil missing at least 3 seconds of notes while bracing his fall to the couch.

All in all, fun times!

Hometown Pride

It seems my home area of Sheboygan County has an endless stream of absolutely ridiculous headlines. In just the past couple weeks, one man was arrested for DUI. The police arrested him in a bar--they didn't pull him over while he was actually "D"-ing. How is that possible, you ask? Well, it turns out he lost control of his vehicle leaving one bar on the way to another. In the process, he hit a power pole and rolled his Honda. He and a passenger/friend got out, assessed the situation, and decided the best action to take would be roll the car back into a "rubber-side down" position and continue on their way to the next watering hole. The accident was reported by a neighbor, and the police followed a trail of debris to the tavern, where the man was arrested and his friend was transported to a local hospital.


Then comes this, which involves:

• A drunk driver pulling into a gas station and running into the barrier around the pumps.


• Said drunk driver failing multiple field sobriety tests.


• Said drunk driver getting arrested.


• Said drunk driver urinating in the back of the squad car, and even urinated on the arresting officer while the officer was driving.

As a Milwaukee radio personality often says (they have a weekly feature of weird Sheboygan County headlines): "Put a tent up around the county and charge admission."

"I think it's raining..."

I need to get running. Since the Fall 50, I’ve been in a bit of a funk, where I have wonderful aspirations for running and then I decide that the beer in the fridge should probably be ingested before it spoils (hey-it could happen). And then I remember that I haven’t eaten any of the ice cream in the fridge in at least 2 hours, so I better grab a spoonful. Then I notice that there’s a re-run of Seinfeld on. I’ve never been a huge fan of Seinfeld, but I find it occasionally humorous, and although I’ve seen this particular episode 3 times already, perhaps the 4th viewing will be the one that shows me the true comedic brilliance of Larry David. Then, speaking of Larry David, I decide I’ll give Curb Your Enthusiasm a chance via On Demand, although the previous 2 “chances” I’d given the show had me realizing it’s just not my kind of humor. [SIDENOTE: So what IS your kind of humor, you ask? The graphs on this post are my kind of humor.] So I begin to think about what is my kind of humor, and I decide to watch an On Demand episode of Entourage (hey-I’m already at the On Demand menu) and follow it up with an episode of The Office, but I can’t find that on the TV, so I head on over to the computer and watch a webisode. Now that I’m on the computer, I should really get back to my Google Reader file and read some blogs before all my RBF’s disown me…and so it goes…where was I…oh yeah…running.

I found some inspiration to run in several places:

Inspiration #1: If you haven’t read The Laminator’s Post on his NYC Marathon (he ran 3-oh-freaking-TWO!!), go over there and read Part IV—the part about ‘heart.' There are some amazing quotes and some great points from Lam about what happens in the last 6.2 of a marathon. It really does change you permanently.

Inspiration #2: This morning Ellie and I actually made it out of bed and went running. While she tells a much better story than I do, I'll give a brief version, in bullet points:

• At 5:15 AM my alarm goes off. Snooze.
• At 5:20 it goes off again. I've been trying to get into morning running, so I decided today was the day, and I got up.
• Coffee pot on.
• Teef brushed.
• Go wake Ellie up (She agreed to try running in the morning with me)
• Ellie's response (in bed, with earplugs in and her blanket wrapped around her head): "Umm...I...uh...I think it's raining."
• Raining? Wha?
• Ellie ended up getting out of bed, we went running, and it was fantastic! We'll see if it happens tomorrow morning...
• See, I told you I don't tell a very good story. But take my word for it--Ellie is funny when she's tired, sleepy, and in bed. Oh, and it felt great to run.

Inspiration #3: GQH’s ongoing battle with “TheTeh Schmatterhorn” and his recent success. I have to admit, though, in my mind I envision the hill looking like this (complete with roller coaster or this. In actuality, until proven otherwise via photographic (or Garmin) evidence, I will assume it's closer to this. That is the only way I can explain his amazing amounts of posts and comments (a Marcy-like dedication.)

Inspiration #4:
Aron’s easy 17 miler followed by an ice bath. While the 17 miler was impressive, I find much inspiration in someone being able to submerge themselves in ice for any amount of time. Viper has inspired me to submerge my hand in a cooler of ice while searching for a beer every now and then, but other than that, I’ll take the hot tub every time.

So this weekend I’m going to go on a run. It’s a run I was planning on doing last summer on the exact Saturday I realized I had gotten Lyme Disease. It involves my favorite trail. 50 Kilometers of it. I’ll be sure to take some pictures. Other than that, you’ll have to wait for the full report. Now I need to go share my plans with Ellie before she reads it here.

"You know your body's not made for that s**t, right?"

Before I begin my rant, I want to say THANK YOU for all the kind comments about my 50 mile adventure. I hope it was as much fun to read as it was for me to think about and share. THANKS AGAIN!

And now, the rant....

Ugh.

Raise your hand if you're tired of responding to the statement that titles this post.

Yes, I enjoy running.

Yes, I enjoy marathons.

NO, it's NOT bad for my joints.

When trained properly, and when trained in a natural running form, running may actually be good for your joints. More on that later.

There. I feel better.

Why the need for that rant? Well, Thursday I took Ellie's parents' dog, "Bonnie," out for a run on the Ice Age Trail. I would take Parsenn, but he's had a busy couple days and he's quite frankly not the athlete that Bonnie is when it comes to energy and running. I often think of Parsenn and Bonnie (who seem to be best friends when they're together) as the main characters from Twins. Lets just say that Parsenn isn't Arnold. He's definitely DeVito. I was hoping to run about 10-15 miles today, but after 9 my left achilles and calf were acting up, so I called it a day. Looking back, I'm honestly a bit surprised I made it that far. The Ice Age Trail, especially where I was running it, is a challenge at this time of the year. The leaves have fallen and covered up every inch of the trail and its rocks and roots (which make up 99% of the trail surface). Add to the fact that it rained last night, making everything a bit slippery, and walking away without a rolled ankle or a skinned elbow gave me a good dose of satisfaction.

I've got to get miles on my favorite part of the trail while I can. Soon enough gun deer season starts--not a good time to be running with a yellow lab. Then the snow begins to fall, and while I don't mind running in a bit of snow (it softens the aforementioned rocks and roots), it really isn't all that much fun for more than 5 miles in my opinion. That's what snowshoes are for.

I left from the Parnell Tower with Bonnie and wanted to make it to Butler Lake before turning around. Again, I can't state how beautiful this trail is. Within the first 1/2 mile of the trail, Bonnie (who probably ran 3 times as far as I did by weaving back and forth chasing anything in the woods that moved) stirred up two bucks, who seemed to be as confused by her as she was by them. Ellie's parents' older dog, Cork, who is a bit too old for the Ice Age Trail and much prefers naps, would have chased those deer straight across the county. Bonnie, on the other hand, came sprinting back to me after seeing their white tails scampering away from her. She was as afraid as they were. It was hilarious. Some hunter.

We continued on and finally reached the valley that leads to Butler Lake in about 40 minutes. After that much time watching every single foot placement on the trail, it's nice to see the trail open up into a valley where the lake resides. As usual, pictures don't do it justice (especially when taken with a phone), but I tried.

Entering the Butler Lake Valley. You can follow the trail all the way down...

Bonnie: "Put the damn camera away and lets go!"

When I reached the Butler Lake parking lot, I headed straight for the well to re-fill my water bottle. Before filling my water bottle, though, I took care of my running partner:

Bonnie, laying down in the puddle of water from the well, lapping it up. (And look at your multi-tasking author's shadow, as he pumps and takes a picture simultaneously! While I'm no Steve Stenzel, I love this picture ;) )

Also in the parking lot was another dog and his buddy, a man who's name I didn't catch. He was working on the Butler Lake Loop in preparations for the upcoming cross-country ski season. I happened to be wearing an NF Endurance Team shirt, so he quickly added two and two and said,

"You know your body's not made for that s**t, right?"

I chuckled (which is what I seem to do when someone or something slightly gets me off balance a bit) and mentioned there's been plenty of research done, especially in the past 5 years, on endurance running and its positive effects on the human body.

I wasn't changing his mind, though. He is a biker and a skier, and he avoids the POUNDING and ARTHRITIS-INDUCING sport of running. Agree to disagree, I guess.

An IAT Blazer...Just follow the Yellow Rectangles

As I headed back to the trail with Bonnie for our return trip, it got me thinking. Being a chiropractor, I try as best I can to stay up to date on muscle- and joint-related topics. I see plenty of it in my office. So I decided to dedicate a post to looking up what's out there in terms of joint pain and running. As it seems I don't have much success telling people that science and research show promising beneficial effects of running, perhaps I'll print a couple of these off and attach them to Bonnie the next time we're running.

First off, I'd like to suggest a book to you. Why We Run, by Bernd Heinrich is a must-read book for anyone interested in Mother Nature's approach to endurance. Bernd happened to be a decent runner and uses this book to both explain Nature's amazing endurance "athletes," explain why humans are actually designed for distance, and also take you along as he trained for a 100k American Record run in Chicago in 1981.
[Disclaimer: This book gets really dry at points. Use it to fall asleep at night, or skip to the parts about running, which are actually really interesting. He used Cranberry Juice, of all things, as his only nutritional supplement on his runs. The last time I used cranberry juice for anything, I wasn't running...]

• This Study (Jul 1990) found no difference in arthritis between former elite long-distance runners and non-runners.
• This Study (Jan 1994) says there's only a slight increase in risk of arthritis-related hospital visits among ex-elite athletes and the common population.
• This Study (Aug 2008) would agree...there's on difference in runners and non-runners.
• This Study (Jun 2006) says it may even be preventative.

There. That should keep you busy for a while. There will be a quiz next week.